Nigel's rules

1) Nobody has ever purchased a completely unbroken tube of Pringles. Pringles

Phil's phones

2) It is impossible not to answer a ringing telephone.
3) Wherever there is a choice of two or more queues, a half-witted old lady will cause a long delay to the shortest queue as within two minutes of your joining it. (This still works for queues which do not contain any old ladies.) Old ladies
Umbrellas 4) The only way to go one year without losing an umbrella is to lock the thing in a cupboard and get wet.
5) Nobody has ever talked to a dog in a tone of voice which would not result in that person being locked up if employed while talking to anything other than a dog.  Pretty Meggie Dog

A video of Nigel looking confused

6) You will need to read rule 5 at least twice.
7) No computer has ever crashed less than one minute after a "Save" command. Crashed Computer

Always observe McManners

8) No matter how detailed your request, it is impossible to buy a burger without the server asking you at least one question. Always observe McManners.
9) Nobody who has deliberately left a car in gear while parked has ever remembered to take it out of gear before attempting to start it. It's a knob

118 118 advert on the underground

10) Tube trains always stop with you opposite the least interesting advert.

There's more to life than eating broken Pringles on the underground. Find out 50 things to do before you are 30 and 100 reasons Nigel is angry on