100 Reasons Nigel is Angry part 2

We especially like number 109!

blinman.com
Guinness hat 101. People who pretend to be Irish (or do the accent) on St Patrick's day. N.B. An Irish born great-grandmother who left the country at the age of three is no excuse.

102. Controlled explosions – no different from uncontrolled explosions except people have time to put their fingers in their ears.

103. Home Counties graduates who use 1850s cockney rhyming slang.

104. Million pound electronic road signs warning us to drive carefully during the firemans' strike. Hey guys, don't forget to let us know when we can go back to driving like a suicide bomber with a scorpion in his pants.

105. BBC 37 - spending our license fees broadcasting non-stop repeats of 1950s laundry detergent commercials to both the digital TVs in Britain.

106. Telecrastinators - people who sit at a desk listening to their phone ring three or four times before their duty neuron issues orders for an arm to deliver the handset to an ear.

107. Surveys on matters of opinion which report a significant "Don't know" response. Categories "Don't care" or "Piss off" would be fine.

108. The default look 'n' feel of Windows XP. The world does not need an operating system for teletubbies fans.

109. 95% of all personal websites. If my life was this dull I'd keep quiet about it. Actually, it is and I do.

Citroen Xsara Picasso110. Citroen Xsara Picassos. That high pitched whine is the sound of the 20th century’s greatest artist spinning in his grave.

111. McDonalds Advantage Club. Somehow lacks the gravitas of British Airways Executive Club. Can’t think why.

112. Computers that talk to each other without being told and won't turn themselves off on command. They were making nightmarish sci-fi films about this only a couple of decades ago.

113. Pizza Express dough balls - undersized bread rolls at five times the price and no-one, me included, can resist the little buggers.

114. People who put the words "telephone" or "call" before their phone number in a charged per word classified ad. Do they really want to do business with the people who can't figure out what to do with the 11 digit number?

Nigel's PC with Post-It notes115. Post-It Notes which stick to everything on earth EXCEPT the textured plastic which covers most of the surface area of the average office.

116. Recording artists whose careers would not be commercially viable if supermarkets stopped selling CDs.

117. Cling Film – a product which sticks to itself but to no other substance short of epoxy cement. Cunningly, this is the exact opposite of the properties required.

118. People who put their e-mail address in their e-mail signature. 

119. Individually wrapped packs of CDRs.


Nigel doesn't just get angry, see more humour on his web site blinman.com.